Snake charmers. Chicken tikka. Bollywood.. and Slumdog Millionaire.

A list of just a few things people expect from you if you're Indian:

-You eat chicken curry all day, everyday.
-You come from an esteemed lineage of rope climbers and snake charmers.

-You're very spiritual and pray to random animals on the street.
-You must have sacrificed atleast one goat to satiate one of your 33 million gods.

-Being Indian, you must be quiet and shy, submissive and docile, always smiling and nodding head. Bull's eye.
-Your spoken English must sound as if you're singing (out-of-tune) and you must nod your head every time you say "Hello!"

*Good lord. I have no idea what he's
 saying. Note to self: Smile when he
smiles, make  sure to nod head and
look intelligent*

-Your English has hands down, the most incomprehensible accent ever. And if you speak fluent English and aren't talking&nodding your head at an alarming rate, you probably grew up abroad.

-Your pets must be the street cows.
-Eating beef = Instant one way ticket to the gates of burning hell.
-You've never heard of Steak or Lasagna. Let alone pronounce it right.

-You wear strange clothes.
-You have to get married really young.
-P.S: You want atleast 15 kids (cricket team+extras, they always come in handy).

-Slumdog Millionaire is the biopic of every living man in India (How do you think Mittal became the man he is? He grew up in the slums, danced around for a solid 15 minutes, entered a contest and voila, hello Forbes.)
-If you're Indian, you must do Bollywood dancing at clubs. Just like the Irish do the Riverdance everytime they go clubbing.

-Bollywood movies are a true representation of how Indian couples do the courting ritual.
-True. We meet someone, definitely from a different caste and social class, fall in love against everyone's wishes, fly to the Alps, make sure we profess our love to each other with atleast 3 situational love songs across the Swiss countryside with atleast 5 costume changes from the latest Armani &Versace Spring line with 50 random and befuddled white backup dancers wondering how on god's green earth they ended up in a Hindi movie (perhaps its time to reevaluate your life choices).

Clichés. Stereotypes. Do you love them just as much as I do?